[identity profile] nicamooch.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] immortalitycode
Title: Those Are Some Nice Briefs, Mind if I Take Them Off You?
Pairing: main!Chanyeol/Sehun, implied!Baekhyun/D.O, barelyeventhere!Kai/Suho
Rating: r
Length: 4.2k
Summary: Sehun’s thirst is real.
Warnings: excessive use of the word d*ck (quack), frottage, Baekhyun saying stuff, Sehun thinking stuff

A/N: 24 times. 24 times. What even is the meaning of being subtle? Written for round 1 of [livejournal.com profile] halcyonboys. Originally posted here.




"Uh...it’s big."

Yeah.

"Like, really big."

I can see that, Baekhyun.

"Big can't even describe it, its ginormous."

"Okay! I get it. Please go away hyung." Sehun pushes a chortling Baekhyun back inside the store with a huff. He avoids looking back at the billboard across the road as he greets the next customer to enter.

"Don't be so afraid to stare it at Sehunnie. The best way to confront your fears are to face them head on." Baekhyun whispers into Sehun's ear earning him a subtle but hard blow to the stomach. Sehun only smiles at the pained groan that follows.

Thankfully Baekhyun is forced to go back to his post in the cosmetics section after getting scolded for leaving it to harass Sehun. For the rest of his shift he refuses to move his head to his left. Instead, he waits until customers are right in front of him to say hello or farewell them. It's not ideal. Nor is it fool proof. Sehun keeps finding himself slipping up way too many times with the way his head automatically shifts left every time he spots someone in his peripherals.

And every single time he does he feels the back of his neck get hot and he's red to the roots of his hair. Whoever thought of putting an underwear ad on that dumb billboard obviously hated Sehun and was out to get him.
Working as a greeter for a department store wasn't all that bad, except when he gets nagged for looking annoyed all the time (it gets boring after like five minutes okay?) but that billboard just makes him hard.

Wait- job. It makes his job hard.

"Stupid abs- I mean ad. Why did they even make it so big? Why do you need a close up of some guys' torso and bulge? Why do underwear ads even exist? Who doesn't wear underwear? Except Baekhyun hyung. Seriously there isn't even a need for so much space to be used to promote underwear. Who wants to see this? On a Monday." Sehun complains to Kyungsoo as they walk out of the back room after clocking out (ignoring Kyungsoo's mumble of "Who wants to hear this on a Monday?")

He rambles on despite not hearing anything but disinterested hums from Kyungsoo. Sehun doesn't pay any mind to the lack of response anyway, too concerned with venting out his frustration. As they exit the store and he's faced with the billboard again Sehun wildly gestures toward it to point it out to Kyungsoo. The latter only raises an eyebrow at him in reply. Sehun squints at the billboard again, scrutinising it.

That torso though, it actually looks...familiar. Sehun feels like he's definitely gone out of his mind but he knows that bulge. He can't stop the gasp of "Chanyeol" that slips out of his mouth. When Sehun turns to Kyungsoo again he's faced with an even more unimpressed expression.

"Uh, gotta go. See you tomorrow!" Sehun yells as he bolts away.

He's lost it. Half his brain must have up and left him forever because there is no way on Earth- no scratch that the entire universe, that the godly bulge on that billboard belongs to the likes of Park Chanyeol.

Too-tall, very loud, quite annoying, gigantic-ego, huge asshole Park Chanyeol? Him? Chanyeol wishes his bulge was that nice.

⊂⊚⊃

Sehun wonders why bad things happen to good people (him) and good things happen to bad people (Park fucking Chanyeol).

Sehun was wrong. So wrong. He hadn't completely lost it- which is good news. But that also means his memory had served him right and that totally jaw dropping package did in fact belong to Park Chanyeol. How did that fucker manage to be so blessed? Sehun's own dick wasn't small by any means but Chanyeol takes the phrase "fuck me on every surface of this dorm" and crushes it (with his dick).

Don't stare at it. Don't stare at it. Come on, eyes. Move away. Up, up. There we go. Oh fuck I forgot he has abs. God damn what I would give just to touch them. With my tongue. Better yet, my tongue on that d-

"Sehun could you move to the side, please? I need to use the stove."

Or you could bend me over it.

"What?"

Oh shit.

"Nothing," Sehun squeaks. He escapes the kitchen as fast as he can without looking suspicious until he realises he's already ruined that chance. He ends up sprinting to his dorm room as soon as he's out of sight from the kitchen. Falling onto his bed he whines into his pillow.

Who the fuck does Chanyeol think he is? Wandering around the common room without a shirt or pants. Was he trying to murder Sehun with his body full of sin? Or is Sehun the one with a mind filled with sin.

"IM A SINNER." Sehun cries out at the same moment Jongin walks into their shared room.

"I'm not sure I want to know, so I'm just not going to ask."

Sehun flips over to send a pitiful look to Jongin. When the other tries to slowly back away and try to make a run for it Sehun jumps up and blocks the door.

"No! You can't leave me! Be a good friend and listen to my problems!"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE A GOOD FRIEND."

Sehun gasps and clutches at his chest, "You have hurt me for the last time Kim Jongin. Move out."

"You move out."

"No! You move out!"

"Okay this is stupid, what sinful thing did you do?"

"Lust after the dick of Park Chanyeol." Sehun says Chanyeol's name like it gives him physical pain.

Sehun doesn't know what he was expecting Jongin's response to be (in all honesty he was hoping it to go down like:

Jongin: *gasps dramatically* Oh no Sehun! You poor dearest child! Let me hold you in my embrace!

Sehun: *jumps into Jongin's awaiting arms* Jongin save me!

Jongin: *strokes Sehun's hair lovingly* It is okay, I will protect you!)

Which...didn't really make much sense but never mind.

What Sehun wasn't expecting was, "Sehun please. Join the queue. Who doesn't want to hop on Park Chanyeol's dick? That dude is smokin' hot,"

"'Smokin' because he's the devil, you mean?!"

"Yeah. Devilishly hot,"

"Oh god. He's gotten to you as well,"

Sehun falls to his knees and Jongin just sighs.

"If you're so worried about it just ask him to fuck you or something,"

Sehun proceeds to choke on air, "What?!"

"I don't know? To like, get it out of your system? Maybe you won't want his dick anymore after fucking him?" Jongin shrugs.

"What sort of messed up logic is that?" Sehun sinks further and ends up face down talking into the carpet, "My best friend is an idiot,"

"Hey! Mine is too but you don't see me complaining,"

"Then why don't you ask Chanyeol to fuck you?"

Jongin is silent for a moment and in that moment Sehun comes to the conclusion that maybe Jongin already has and the thought of it makes him want to chuck up the chocolate milk he had for lunch (because ew Jongin is gross) But Jongin doesn't say that, instead his reply is a boring "I like someone else" and Sehun's chocolate milk stays inside his stomach (where it belongs).

Wait what? "WHO IS IT?"

"Not telling!"

"Best friends tell each other things!"

Jongin scoffs and nudges Sehun with his foot, forcefully rolling him away from the door.

"You called me an idiot,"

"What the hell? You did too!"

"Yeah! Well...I don't have any other bullshit excuses to give you so I'm just going to leave now."

Sehun frowns as he watches the door shut. Ditched. All by himself. With crap advice. Jongin sucks.

⊂⊚⊃

The next day at work Sehun is faced with an internal struggle. Constant chants of 'Don't look. Don't look. Do. Not. Look. Don't look. Oh shit I looked' obviously does nothing to stop him from ogling the billboard. He tries just facing his back to it because fuck this job when he notices the same ad being shown in the middle of the store. More or less going down like 'oh hey 50% off underwear I can use my employee discount to get off even more! Wait isn't that- oh holy motherfucking shit I hate my fucking life fuck everything fuck Park Chanyeol. Why is this happening to me?'

Baekhyun decides to appear half-way through Sehun's shift (and continuous inner-turmoil) to make Sehun's life even worse.

"Hey Sehun I found a great pick-up line for you to say that underwear model, wanna hear it?

"God no."

"Okay here it is. You ready? Are you from Bulgaria cause I'd like to touch your bulge---agh," Baekhyun pouts at Sehun as he rubs his arm where Sehun had pinched him. “Hold on, I got more- those are some nice briefs, mind if I take them off you?”
Shun goes to pinch Baekhyun again but the little shit dodges with a cackle, “Wait, wait- if your dick ever drowns I’ll give it mouth-to-mouth.”

"Why can't you go do something else like play with the cheap eyeliner or go suck Kyungsoo's dick," Sehun huffs.

Baekhyun gasps indignantly, "Eyeliner is not a toy! It's an art form!"

"Really? That's what you defend?"

"What do you think I did during break?" Baekhyun shrugs as if it's the most normal thing in the world. Which being Baekhyun it probably is.

"Oh god gross please just go back to work hyung,"

"Aw Sehunnie, annoying you is my job." Baekhyun leans his head on Sehun's shoulder with a grin.

"It seems it's not your only one either," Sehun mumbles.

"I'm sorry, what was that Sehunnie? You want to suck that underwear model's dick?"

Fuck yes. "Fuck no." Sehun shoves Baekhyun off him. The latter finally leaves him alone but not before laughing obnoxiously all the way back to his post. Baekhyun hyung totally sucks as well. Literally and figuratively apparently.

⊂⊚⊃

When Sehun sees Chanyeol again (in person- not the photo of his bulge). He's convinced the guy must really be out to murder Sehun ---with his dick (except not exactly in the way that Sehun wants). Chanyeol's walking around the common room shirtless and pants-less (what's new?) while Sehun is just trying to study (read: cover his textbooks in tears).

Does this man have no shame? Or integrity? Or like...insecurities?? Or maybe clothes to wear? Maybe he had to sell his clothes to pay his tuition? But he obviously gets paid to SHOW OFF THOSE ABS AND DICK. Look at him. Cooking ramen. How does he manage to make it look like the sexiest thing in the world? What is wrong with me? RAMEN IS NOT SEXY DESPITE WHAT JONGDAE’S HAIR THINKS-

"Hey Sehun do you want some?"

Some what? Great sex? Hell yeah you don't even have to ask. "Uh nah it's okay,"

"You sure? I can just add another packet to mine,"

"No it's fine, I'm not hungry," for anything other than your dick in my mouth. Dear god I have polluted my mind, every thought I have contributes to the flowing river of waste.

"'Kay then more for me," Sehun watches as Chanyeol puts in another packet anyway and his stomach chooses the most inopportune time to growl.

"Did you not just hear me say that we are not hungry?" Sehun whispers, glaring down at his traitorous stomach. Now that he thinks about it he hadn't eaten anything but the half of a sandwich Kyungsoo had given him when he said he forgot to bring lunch.

Chanyeol's sits down across from him at the table Sehun is 'studying' at moments later with a pot of ramen. Sehun tries not to watch the way Chanyeol's lips pucker when he's blowing (the ramen, blowing air onto the ramen) and wow great something else to cry about late at night. Okay so it's not the only thing he does but let's not think about that right now.

Sehun tries to hold down his growing hunger for both food and Chanyeol pounding him into this very table by going back to his books. 'Tries' being the keyword. He's reading the words but they're not processing and Chanyeol's slurping was a just a tad distracting. It seems also that Sehun's stomach is determined to betray him when it grumbles loudly. Sehun hopes that this a case of only himself being able to hear it. However the way Chanyeol is staring at him right now says otherwise.

"Not hungry, huh?" Chanyeol picks up a bunch of noodles hovering them over the lid of the pot and gently blows at them before holding it out to Sehun. He's about to decline but the look Chanyeol gives him is so expectant. Sehun reaches out to take the chopsticks from Chanyeol's hand but the latter pulls it away.

"Nope, say ahh,"

Oh fuck me.

Sehun glares at Chanyeol who only responds with more 'ahh's'.

"Uh- uggf." In what Sehun's attempt to protest being treated like a child that asshole Park Chanyeol 'shoves' (read unbiased witness account: nicely fed) the noodles into Sehun's open mouth. Whom in turn slurped it all up out of hunger anyway.

He even makes better ramen than I do what the fuck?

"Good, right?" Chanyeol grins.

Sehun goes to yell an indignant 'no!' but ends up reluctantly nodding, the back of his neck hot.

"You want the rest?"

"No- umff." How did I not see that one coming?

After the third bite Sehun reaches up to snatch the chopsticks away. Chanyeol counters quickly, too fast for Sehun who ends up with another mouthful.

Sehun ends up getting almost the entire pot fed to him and it’s empty carbs but he could care less about that fact if he was being completely honest. His stomach is content and his heart (and neck apparently) is warm.

⊂⊚⊃

"I hate Park Chanyeol he's a jerk," Sehun finds himself venting his complaints on the unwilling ears of Kyungsoo once again (Jongin refuses to listen to Sehun's Chanyeol problems anymore).

"What did Chanyeol do?" An unwanted Baekhyun appears from nowhere.

Sehun just wanting someone to unload his problems onto ends up settling for Baekhyun, "He's a life-ruiner."

"Chanyeol? Annoying? Yes. Life ruining? Not intentionally." Kyungsoo says without looking up from his phone.

"But it is! He's out to get me! At first it was just his damned bulge but now he really out get me!"

"Bulge? You mean- and the-? OHOHOHOHO this is too good!" Baekhyun whoops loudly in his seat.

"You have sparked my interest. Explain." Kyungsoo puts his phone down on the table and Baekhyun and Sehun stare amazed for about three seconds until Baekhyun practically shouts 'SEHUN WANTS CHANYEOL'S DICK'.

"I don't- this doesn't change the fact that he's a jerk and life-ruiner!"

"He can't even deny it! I'VE STRUCK GOLD." Baekhyun jumps up onto his seat arms pumping victoriously.

"Baekhyun sit down," Kyungsoo grasps Baekhyun's shirt and roughly pulls.

Sehun can't even feel embarrassed anymore after the strenuous week of torture he's had. He's unable to escape that cursed underwear ad every time he comes in for work.
He has a bad feeling about Baekhyun knowing about his struggle though.


⊂⊚⊃

Sehun's bad feeling was absolutely correct. He realises this too late. After he comes back from work that Friday Sehun finds himself cornered in the kitchen by none other than the very reason of his distress.

"I heard you want my dick," Chanyeol says after he traps Sehun against the counter.

Wow, that's forward. Wow, that's really hot. No! I need to run away!

"Don't run just yet. I said I 'heard', I just- is it true?"

He's asking if it's true. OF COURSE IT'S TRUE. Hey, he's wearing a shirt this is a first. Granted it's sleeveless but damn those biceps. Nice. I want to put my tongue on those too. If I were to rank the places I want to run my tongue over it would probably place third. Hot damn. Oh god look at those muscles- they'd totally be able to hold me up as I'm fucked against a wall? Wait why are they moving away from me? Come back I-

"I'm judging by your lack of response that I must have heard wrong. Sorry, forget I said anything." Chanyeol says quickly.

Wait, what?

As usual with a lot of situations Sehun has had with Chanyeol lately, Sehun has no time to process things before it's too late. Chanyeol is gone and Sehun is left standing dumbfounded in the kitchen.

Sehun goes to express his confusion to Jongin (and his newly acquired boyfriend Jun-something? Junmen? Jun- forget it, Sehun will figure it out someday).

"You've been after the guy's dick for the past week- probably even more than that knowing you, you just haven't realised it like always- you finally get the chance tell him and you fuck it up?" Jongin deadpans from where he's laid his head in Jun- okay just Jun's lap.

"I got distracted by the appearance of a shirt and his nice biceps!"

"Only you would get so caught up in lusting after a guy's dick for so long that you forget to actually tell him that you want his dick."

"It's not just his dick!...anymore...it's the biceps and you can probably throw those goes-on-for-miles legs as well. He has a really handsome face too though, he's got the big bug eyes thing going on and nice lips. The kind that you want to slap- with your own lips you know? Not that any of that matters because he's a jerk and I hate him."

Jongin rolls his eyes and sighs, "Sehun please, when has Chanyeol ever been a jerk to you?"

"By existing?"

"Not good enough,"

"Uhhh...by feeding me his ramen even when I said I didn't want any? What the fuck that's force feeding aka. something only jerks do."

"You mean you were hungry and he offered you food and you declined because you're stupid. Then he noticed you were hungry and knew you weren't going to eat it yourself without some kind of push because you're an idiot? Need a better reason,"

Well when Jongin puts it like that Sehun just feels dumb. Why does he have to be right? No! Chanyeol is a jerk cause...uh cause- he's not even a jerk at all? A jerk because he's not one! Yeah! Wait, what?

"Oh fuck no," Sehun cries and rolls onto the floor.

"What? Did you realise that you like him?"

"I don't want to like him. I just wanted the D not the- all of it."

"Your fault."

"Not my fault! It was that damn underwear ad!"

"No-no, your fault."

"You suck Jongin."

"It's okay Sehun, Junmyeon already knows that."

What? Who the fuck is that? Oh Jun- god damn it.

⊂⊚⊃

Sehun ends up sitting in the common room for the entirety of the next day waiting for Chanyeol to appear. Unlike every other day this week however he doesn't appear, clothes or no clothes. Sehun feels like he must have really messed up something here. He's been here since 6am and it's nearing to 11pm but still no sign. He doesn't know what the drop in his gut means but it probably isn't good. He isn't even sure what he thinks of Chanyeol anymore.

Upon reflection of their last moment together Sehun is feeling almost apologetic. Maybe Chanyeol really was insulted that Sehun didn't confirm he wanted Chanyeol's dick or not. That would pretty egotistical though but hadn't he mentioned earlier that Chanyeol had a big ego?

The common room is close to empty as of now. Sehun's packing away his textbooks (well he had to occupy himself somehow) when he sees Chanyeol walk into the room. Fully clothed.

What the fuck he looks good wearing clothes too?

It's only skinny jeans and a hoodie yet Sehun still feels hot under the collar at the sight. Chanyeol seems to spot Sehun only a second after Sehun does. Sehun watches the other's eyes widen before he's turning right back around and back the way he came. How does he run with the speed of a gazelle? He rushes after Chanyeol down the hall and just managed to lose him when he runs into what is presumably his dorm.

Why didn't I just try to track him down here before oh god I'm an idiot.

"Chanyeol?" Sehun calls out as he knocks on the door.

"Who is it?" WHO DO YOU THINK IT IS?

"It's Sehun." There’s muffled yelps and soft curses coming from the other side of the door that make Sehun's eyebrows furrow.

"Go away?" He thinks he hears Chanyeol yell out.

"Is that supposed to be a question?"

"No. Go. Away."

Sehun huffs, "Chanyeol can I please just talk to you?"

"Okay. Talk." Why is he being difficult all of a sudden?

"Can you open the door?"

"No."

"Please?"

The door opens ever so slightly and Chanyeol's eyes peek out the gap peering at Sehun, "So?"

"Uh, about the question you asked yesterday,"

"I told you to forget it happened," Chanyeol whimpers. Sehun thinks that if Chanyeol had dog ears they'd probably be flattened against his head submissively. No! You're not allowed to be cute too!

"Well, I didn't. And um I'm here to answer," Sehun thinks he sees Chanyeol start inching the door shut and rushes to finish, "Hear me out, okay? I- don't want your dick...? No wait- don't close it I'm not done! I do, I really do want your dick but I apparently sort of want more than just that. Not that it matters because I still really want your dick...uh..." Sehun forgets where he was trying to go with this.

"What?"

"That underwear ad? Walking around in nothing but your underwear uh you make it hard um not to want to totally be bent over the nearest surface by you?"

"How did you knew about-? Never mind. I meant the other part about wanting more than my dick,"

Sehun fidgets, he didn't mean to indirectly say he liked Chanyeol. "What about it?"

"I like you?"

Wait, what? "Why does that sound like a question?"

"So I can take it back in case you don't like me back?

"What if I do?"

Chanyeol opens the door wider, "Then it isn't a question anymore, I like you." I better not be going red right now.

"I- like you too." Neck is hot. Neck is very hot. "Wait, you still got that part about me really wanting you to fuck me right?"

Chanyeol pulls Sehun into his room and presses him against the wall, hot breath mingling between the close proximity of their faces, "Of course."
Chanyeol was not one to waste time, diving in to capture Sehun’s lips with his own. Sehun’s hands find their way into Chanyeol’s hair. He gently pulls at the strands at first only to hold them tighter when it elicits a soft groan.

There’s a nibble at his bottom lip that makes him open his mouth, eager to taste Chanyeol. Rough calloused hands grip his waist from under his shirt pulling him closer. One moves down to squeeze his ass and push, grinding their hips together. Sehun doesn’t hold back his moan when he feels his semi brush against Chanyeol’s.

Wanting, needing, to be closer he hikes a leg up to wrap around Chanyeol’s side. Chanyeol doesn’t hesitate to lift Sehun’s other thigh until both legs are wrapped around his waist. Sehun finds himself back against the wall, whimpering as Chanyeol sucks at his neck and thrusts up to rub their erections together through their jeans.

The friction burns hot and Sehun is quick to feel that familiar warmth in his gut telling him that he’s close. He whines, how does Chanyeol get him off so god damn easy? What the fuck? I haven’t even gotten to see his dick yet.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come.” Sehun moans deciding ‘fuck it’ as he tries to draw Chanyeol even closer with his legs.

Chanyeol breathes a hot “then come,” into his ear, nipping at his earlobe and sending him over the edge. Pleasure rips through him as he throws his head back letting out a curse. He whines as Chanyeol keeps going, chasing his own orgasm and as he comes too, the over-stimulation sending jolts through his body.

It’s only when they’ve come down from their highs the stickiness in their jeans beginning to feel uncomfortable that Sehun remembers and accidently voices that he wanted to suck Chanyeol off.

Chanyeol only laughs as Sehun’s neck gets hot under the collar once again out of shame and disbelief at himself.

“Don’t worry babe, we’re only getting started.”

⊂⊚⊃

"Aw is poor Sehunnie sad that he won't be able to look at Chanyeol's big bulge on the big billboard anymore?"

Sehun is about slap Baekhyun in the gut when Kyungsoo does it for him.

"It's doubtful that Sehun cares when he saw enough of it the whole of yesterday," Kyungsoo mutters.

"How did you-?"

"I'm his roommate. Who do you think told him that you want his dick? Baekhyun?"

Baekhyun cackles at the shock covering Sehun's face as he rubs at his stomach only to get hit again in the same spot by Sehun. "Hey- ow! You guys are mean."

"Just go back to work hyung,"





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